30 Funny Benefits of Becoming a Senior

• In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
• No one expects you to run into a burning building.
• Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
• People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
• People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

>>> Funny benefits 6 to 10 are on the next page >>>

• There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.
• Things you buy now won’t wear out.
• You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
• You can eat dinner at 4:00.
• Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

>>> Funny benefits 11 to 15 are on the next page >>>

• You can’t remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
• You can live without sex, but not without your glasses.
• Your back goes out more than you do.
• You consider coffee one of the, most important things in life.
• You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

>>> Funny benefits 16 to 20 are on the next page >>>

• Your ears are hairier than your head.
• You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
• You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
• Your eyes won’t get much worse.
• You got cable for the weather channel.

>>> Funny benefits 21 to 25 are on the next page >>>

• You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.
• Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
• You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
• You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
• Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

>>> Funny benefits 26 to 30 are on the next page >>>

• You send money to PBS.
• You sing along with the elevator music.
• Your supply of brain cells is finally, down to a manageable size.
• You talk about “good grass” and you’re referring to someone’s lawn.
• You have great friends who think of you often, and send you lists like this 😉

Source: suddenlysenior.com